In ainm Dé, demands an Fear Rua, have the poor misfortunate people of Kosovo not suffered enough already at the hands of Milosevic and the other Balkan murderers, without being forced to cheer for the Clare football team in their Munster Senior Football tussle with Kerry, in Killarney....

And what bright spark in the Wicklow County Board brought another group of bewildered Kosovars to Croke Park to support the Garden County footballers as their challenge wilted against Meath, faster than a bunch of roses sprayed by mistake with Gramoxone?

What sort of impression must these types of performances make on our guests? Are these visits to provincial championship games not crimes against humanity that Judge Louise Arbour and her colleagues in the Hague International Court should be investigating? Indeed, the Kosovars have been remarkably unlucky in the counties to which they have been despatched. Another group of them have been housed in the old military barracks in Kildare, while still more have been located in counties Waterford and Wexford. In fact, there seems to be an uncanny link between the fate of those counties that have hospitably opened their doors to the Kosovars and an early demise from key championship games. However, An Fear Rua thinks even the Kosovars should be thanking their lucky stars they were not sent to Carlow or Tipperary, given the pathetic conduct of representatives of both counties following their early - and entirely justified - exits from the championship.

Carlow were the lads came up with the concept of deciding results by the numbers of red and yellow cards awarded to each team. No doubt the infamous 'stanchion' goal was a hard blow to Tipperary, but the ultimate winning margin showed Kerry were always good enough to beat them, and didn't really need the extra 'goal'. If the Carlow and Tipp lads had got their way, the 1999 championships wouldn't have ended until around 2002, because of games being replayed at the slightest pretext!

And both these counties introduced a new whinge to losing in the provincial championships: "We didn't train for XXX nights, just to go out in the first round like this....". In the name of all that's good and merciful, what exactly does this mean, asks An Fear Rua. The whole essence of 'knock out' competitions is precisely that some teams win and others lose, even in the first round. The trick is - not to get beaten, and then all the nights of training are made worthwhile.

But this whinge might have added a whole new dimension to deciding major GAA games. The result would no longer hinge on the numbers of goals and points scored by each team, but rather on the number of nights training each had completed! An Fear Rua can just imagine his old pal Seán Óg Ó Ceallacháin reading out the Sunday night results now on Radio Éireann: "Leinster Senior Football Championship, First Round, Carlow 110 nights training, Westmeath 105; Ulster Senior Championship Monaghan 88 nights training, Fermanagh 92.... " Indeed, a whole industry could develop around deciding exactly how many nights training each county had done. Maybe the requisite number would have to be certified by a Peace Commissioner or sworn on affidavit before a District Judge.

More importantly, however, as that distinguished commentator on Gaelic Football, Eugene Magee, remarked, when you see the performances of the Carlows, Wicklows and Tipperarys of this world, you begin to wonder what exactly they were doing during all those nights of training. Certainly, it doesn't seem to have been the elementaries like 'catch and kick', accurate free taking etc. In other words, the simple things, done well, that's what separates the Dublins, the Meaths and the Kerrys from the whingers.

By contrast, the dignified demeanour of the hurlers of Tipperary, Waterford and Wexford upon their despatch from their respective provinces was admirable in the extreme. Indeed, the whole conduct of the hurling championships this year reinforces An Fear Rua in his belief that there is an inner strength and beauty in the 'stick' game that even the most inspired Gaelic football game cannot even come near.

Clare's demolition of Tipp in the replay was awesome to behold. When, wonders An Fear Rua, was the last time a Premier County side was held to eleven points, ten from one individual player (and nine of those from frees), in a Munster championship game? The Great Ger Loughnane (all present lower the head, bow the knee and face towards Bodyke three times) clearly savoured every moment of it. Obviously, the recent row in Clare about demolishing a fairy tree to make way for a new motorway didn't bring any bad luck to the side.

As An Fear Rua's old pal, Padraig Ó Fainín, used to write as "Déiseach'" in the 'Waterford News and Star', the hurlers of Waterford had drunk deeply of the draught of Munster success and 'twas a heady draught indeed... Their 14-man performance against Limerick in Porky Keev was so good, it raised false hopes for this year. Against Cork, however, they played below par, with the honourable exception of Mount Sion man Ken McGrath. Perhaps it is time Gerald McCarthy reminded this Waterford team of the comment made some years ago by the captain of an All Ireland winning team, who remarked that if they won it again the following year, he'd have to get a new mickey! Now, Dan Shanahan strikes An Fear Rua as being the cut of a lad who might respond to an incentive like that...